


Stand There and Pretend

by makeit_takeit



Series: Missing Scenes [6]
Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 13:34:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12322068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makeit_takeit/pseuds/makeit_takeit
Summary: Mid-"Points". After Lew's job offer, Dick decides it's time to clear the air.Dick swallows hard, takes a deep breath, and Lew’s face has softened a little bit, the hard set of his jaw slackened by curiosity, his eyes made wider by something that Dick thinks might be hope, and it’s now or never, and Dick Winters has never been so scared.





	Stand There and Pretend

_I’ve been thinking about your offer._

_The job?_

_Yep._

_Shouldn’t feel obligated, Dick. It’s just an idea, no pressure._

_It’s a good offer, Nix. I appreciate it, I do._

_But?_

_Just one thing I think we should clear up._

_If it’s the salary thing, that was just a joke, Dick. I can promise you won’t be disappointed –._

_Lew. It’s not the pay._

_What, then?_

Dick is quiet, staring out at the lake, the mountains. It looks like a picture postcard, like it’s not really real, and he has to close his eyes to focus. Nix is next to him, leaned over the balcony’s edge, elbows propped on the railing, echoing Dick’s posture, but now he’s looking at Dick, waiting, and Dick can’t seem to get the words out of his mouth. He feels the heat in his face, feels his heart pounding, and the words just won’t come, he can’t make his tongue move. He screws his eyes shut and tries, digs down to find the courage that floods through him without hesitance in combat, but which has completely dried up here in this picturesque scene, on this nonthreatening hotel balcony.

He feels Nix move closer, and he knows he won’t be able to say what he needs to with Lew this close, it’s too much. Then Nix says, his voice low with concern,

_Dick? What’s going on?_

And his hand slides over Dick’s back, his other curls over Dick’s arm, and when Dick opens his eyes Nix is right there, and Dick jumps back like he’s seen a ghost, like Nix’s touch burns. He watches as Lew’s eyes narrow, his jaw sets firmly. His mouth hardens into a tight line, his face pale.

_So it’s about that._

_Lew –._

_No, Dick. It’s a job offer, that’s all it is. Nothing else to it._

_In Hagenau –._

_I don’t want to talk about Hagenau. That’s done; it’s forgotten._

_Not by me._

_If you don’t want the job, don’t take it. No hard feelings. We done here?_

_Lew -._

_Are. We. Done. Major?_

Nix is flustered, somewhere between embarrassed and angry, his face red, but his gaze is level; a challenge. Dick pulls himself up to his full height, looks Nixon right in the eyes. He’s searching, looking for something to tell him where to go, how to navigate this mess he’s made, and he’s cursing his own inaction. He’s never felt himself incapacitated by fear, he’s faced down death without so much as blinking, and now Lewis Nixon with his eyes and his lips and his hands and his heat, Lewis Nixon with everything that Dick wants and needs, is making a coward out of him. He steps closer to Nix, and grits his teeth.

_No,_ Captain _, we’re not._

_For Chrissakes._

Lew throws up his hands, but Dick knows he can't stop now.

_You were drunk in Hagenau, Lew. Very, very drunk. And the letter from Kathy. You were angry, hurt. And there was a war on. We were still fighting, still advancing. We still had a job to do, an important job._

_I was there, Dick._

_When you said,_ don’t stand there and act like you never thought of this _–._

_Please, Dick._

_When you said,_ don’t stand there and pretend you never wanted _-._

_Goddammit, Dick,_ stop _._

_Lew, listen to me. It was not. It was_ never _. My intent to imply that I had never thought – or never wanted -._

Dick swallows hard, takes a deep breath, and Lew’s face has softened a little bit, the hard set of his jaw slackened by curiosity, his eyes made wider by something that Dick thinks might be hope, and it’s now or never, and Dick Winters has never been so scared.

_You were very drunk, Lew, and very angry, and there was a very real war on. And once you pull the trigger, you can’t bring that bullet back. It’s out there, and you can’t control what it hits._

_I’m -. Not sure I follow._

_I want to take you up on your job offer._

_You do._

_I do._

_You want to come to New Jersey._

_I want to, yes._

_Well, that’s. That’s great, Dick._

_Nix. I just want to be clear._

_Excellent job so far._

Dick has to stop, has to grin. Nix is smirking, bemused, and looking at Dick like he’s never seen him before, like he’s brand new, and Dick feels the weight of Lew’s gaze, the expectancy in it, and thinks he’s this close – _this close_ – to the thing he’s wanted more than he’s ever wanted anything, and for longer than he cares to remember. If he can just find the right words.

_In Hagenau. It wasn’t because I'd never thought about it. Or because I'd never wanted it. Even if I tried to say that, we both know better. It was. It was just-_

_It was the wrong time._

_The wrong time._

_I was drunk. I was angry. There was a war on._

_Yes._

_And now I’m not drunk. And not angry. And there is no more war – at least not for us._

_Yes._

_And you want to come to New Jersey._

_I do. If the offer still stands._

Nix’s eyes close, and open slowly. He takes a step toward Dick, and smiles. Then Dick feels the rigid burden of duty slide off his shoulders and crumble to dust, feels a jagged wave of relief uncoil inside him and rush through his limbs. Nix is coming closer, closer, and then Dick’s back is against the wall and his jacket is balled up in Nix’s fists then 5 years of waiting is over and Nix’s mouth is on his, and he does not resist, he does not pull away, and his whole body vibrates with _finally_.


End file.
